Forty

1 Peter 5:7
“Give all your worries to him, because he cares about you.”

“Give all your worries to him…” Easier said than done. I admit I get in God’s way a lot.
Letting go and letting God is something I struggle with.
Surrender is very hard. I have to be able to put it into practice.

What happens when you give it all over to God?

There are five steps in the surrender process.
1.CHURN
This is when life throws you a heavy blow- maybe you had a loved one pass a way, or in my case the end of a marriage, or finding out you have an incurable disease, or lost your job, or have a sin you are trying to escape. The churning process is the feeling you get inside that feels like an incredible pain of knives or being in a blender and all you feel is anguish.
2. BURN
This is the anger. You want to cause harm to whomever did this to you or whatever caused this, you may even want to harm yourself- this is where the burning of your emotions come and you fuel the anger and it is like a fire that can spread.
3. YEARN
This is regret. You yearn for things to be different, you wish to resolve things and have a different outcome or look to the past and with things were like they used to be. This can last a very long time.
4. LEARN
This is a growth period where you have people enter your life that can help you through this situation, maybe a support group, counselor or a good friend to talk through the pain and stop the hurting.
5. TURN
This is the final step when you completely turn your problem or situation over to God and say “whatever Lord! Whatever you bring into my life, You are strong enough to get me through it.”


I flounder between two and three.
I am angry.
I want to fight.
I want to hate.
I want to cause pain like what I am feeling.
I want to say the most horrible thing and do the most horrible things.

This is human sinful nature. I don’t do these things because I fear the consequences. I know the difference between right and wrong and I know restraint. I pray about these feeling instead of acting on them.

Then I feel the regret. I regret my daughter lives with her dad and I cannot provide for her, I want my husband to love me enough for our marriage to work, I want the life we should have had as a family, if we both had not quit. Regret is a haunting nightmare. 

My daughter has been with her dad for three years now and she is very content.  My husband wants other things more than our marriage and the life we should have had doesn't have a chance because of the destruction that has happened between us- actions in the past cannot be changed. 

I have to get through this and I am not doing well right now, I admit I am struggling. 

I have to seek God and want what he wants for me, I know God has a plan for my single life and I will have to, let go and let God.

That sounds like a country song.

Now I just have to learn, and turn. Accept the things I cannot change.

Praise God !

To God be the Glory for the things he has done and the things he will do.
Lord I give you thanks and praise in advance for what will come and
teach me, O Lord to count all of this, as Joy.
Amen

Grace and Peace to you from God our Father.