Go now, a child of God. Choose well the road you take,
And the decisions you make. Keep in mind always that The God you serve continues to call to you, making you more and more every day into the faithful one God wants you to be.

Monday, May 17, 2010

One hundred seventy-two

“Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.”- Mark Twain

Praying for joy today and someone to share it with. I'm tired of grieving.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

One hundred seventy-one

I know I stopped blogging here for a little while. Thank-you all for your love and concern.

Mrs. June is a blessing as a woman of God with the true heart of a servant. Even while she has retired, she makes time to call at just the right time and gives insight that no one else can give. Thank you- thank you for your amazing spirit and unconditional love.

I’m dealing with some personal things. I know that I couldn’t persuade my feelings to be different or convincing with all the emotions I am having, so I took a break to renew and refresh giving a lot of inward reflection of what I need and should be projecting to God and everyone I come in contact with. My emotions are raw and very much on the surface. It is hard to not expose them. I am at a transition time of my life. Surrender is a struggle for me and I try to get back in control of things and realize that it is beyond my feeble control. When I read scripture, I give it a lot of thought and try to think of how it is real to me. I know that the word is there and each time I pick it up, there is a message that is specifically for me.

Today I had a singular feeling and by that I mean I feel singular.
Just Me.
It is a strange feeling to be completely alone. I know I am not completely alone. I have read a few books on the life of monks and mystics and how they pursue a singular life.

It is not a singular life that excludes God , but quite the opposite, it is a life that only includes God. I’m not saying that social interaction with others is excluded, it is just not as necessary. I don’t know if I am the person who craves solitude or craves the company of others. I know at times it is a little of both. I am ok to be alone, and I am ok to be with others. I struggle with where God wants me to be. I need a clear signal, and right now I don’t have it. I am a little lost when it comes to having a clear picture of where God wants me to be and what He wants for me. It is not easy when there are a lot of inner struggles going on. I am vulnerable. I don’t have a clear direction of where I am heading.

Today’s verse: LIVE LIFE

Philippians 4:9
“ God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.”

I need to embrace this time God has given me. It is hard. I am struggling. I am not free from sin. I’ve taken a wrong turn- not in a devastating way, but in my emotional journey.

Romans 1:16 “The just shall live by faith”

God reminded me that every life is useful. Even yours.

I feel that God will reveal what he wants for me when he feels it is the appropriate time.
I need to surrender and give God glory. Today I would like to thank God for letting me see that there are a lot of areas that he and I are at work with in my life. From all these challenges that I am facing, it is my prayer that He will be with me, provide a guiding hand and lead me in the way that I am to go. I do get to live my life. I am not dead. God still has some special use for me, and will let me know what that is in His time.

Thanking God for his Grace and love.