My past week has been full of highs and lows. I have been busy as ever and work has picked up.
I lost one of my dogs to a traffic accident.
The guy I was going out with, occasionally, got a job out of town and we packed up his house so he can sell it, and he moved.
My dad is here for a visit and that is the best right now. We are still grieving my brother.
I have a sense of peace about everything. I know nothing is in my control and what I can control, I can only do my best at it. My biggest emotion this week has been love. I have been loving everyone around me.
Proverbs 4: 23-27
23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
24 Keep your mouth free of perversity;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead;
fix your gaze directly before you.
26 Give careful thought to the paths for your feet
and be steadfast in all your ways.
27 Do not turn to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.
When the tough times come it is easy for some bitterness to come into your heart, but I’ve been trying to focus on love and loving the people around me, not the situations we have been facing. I admit the instant I heard the dog died, my friend is moving, and missing my brother, I wanted to be angry, I wanted to say angry words, I wanted to scream and throw a fit, but a warm feeling came over me and stopped that emotion. Love replaced it and I projected it.
Internally we all go through emotional struggles, and what is in you will come out. The anger somehow was repressed and I let it go. I know it was God at work in me.
Love is a verb. I’m glad that I am being taught love and know love and can give it when someone needs it.
Guard your heart.
Give your love.
God loves you and so do I.
Blessings and peace to you from God, our father.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
God's Will- Week One
At times we put a lot of effort in getting to know other people. We see someone and instantly know their story and share it with others around us.
"Jane there, has three kids and one is an honor student and the other two are toddlers. I dont know how she balances her life with her alcoholic husband!"
"Bobby, just surprised his wife with a new car. She is a lucky girl."
"I think Sam has a love child and his wife doesnt know."
How often do we look at ourselves?
What are others saying about us as we walk by?
Do they know us at all?
What do we want others to see and say about us?
I asked a friend to give me some characteristics about herself that she might share with someone interested in getting to know her. Her description of herself was this: kind, caring, giving, and a darn good friend!
She also mentioned her flaws, and said that some she was ashamed of and was trying to change those things.
Mostly those were the things she didn't want someone else to know.
I have always accepted her and loved her even knowing her flaws. I know that God loves us in the same way.
Here are 16 things about me, that are deeper than the obvious- single, mother of one, short, and unique; since I have approx. two real friends- everyone might not know these things about me... so here goes:
1. I believe in God. I know that I am more than just a human, and I am God's, at His service to do His will. I am not offended when someone says I dont get asked out because I have a lot of "Jesus" on my facebook page.
2. I accept reality. The good and the bad of life.
3. I like myself and others. I am as objective as I am subjective in my perception of people.
4. I am spontaneous. I am not hung up on what others think I should be. I do what is good and natural, simply because that is how I feel. My actions are not to try and hurt others but I have respect for what is good for me, if I’m angry, I will be angry, If I am joyful I will be joyful and genuine with my feelings towards myself and others. If I want to drink alcohol, I do, but not to hurt others or myself, I am aware if I am drinking too much.
5. I am genuinely concerned for others problems and if I am able to help, I do. I value others problem solving solutions also and seek counsel when I am troubled.
6. At times I have a need for privacy. I am a social person and enjoy the company of others but at times I have a need for solitude. I can have people close to me and their presence is sufficient without interaction. I am a great companion.
7. I am capable of doing things for myself and making decisions on my own. I believe in who and what I am. I try not to regret my choices.
8. I am always curious and interested in the world around me. I love to travel. I have appreciation for simple and fun things, like watching a sunrise or sunset, feeling the wind or heat of the sun, and delight in playing with children enjoying their innocence and curiosity and still able to be an adult.
9. I am sensitive to people around me. At times I have conversations with people about subjects I know nothing about, but they have a need to talk about them, and I give them perspective.
10. I have very few friends, but the ones I do have are long lasting and very meaningful. I love my friends.
11. I allow others to be themselves. I do not try to change people. I accept others for their strengths and weaknesses. I allow others to say whatever they want, without swaying my judgment or personal opinion. I am genuine with my perceptions and feelings.
12. I sometimes like to be able to see the whole picture about situations, and make the best of what is. Good and bad, but mostly I see good more than I see bad. For instance if a person I know has been in some trouble, the trouble isnt always the person. My brother manufactured illegal drugs, but it did not change that he was my brother or that he loved me, but I also did not have a blind eye to his actions.
13. I am witty and have a non-hostile sense of humor. I do not like making fun of others to make them feel bad. I don’t appreciate others who do.
14. I am highly creative, but not just in one area. I write, I paint, I design, I sew, I cook without a cookbook at times, I am a do-er instead of a planner when I decide what I want to do. I can usually accomplish my creative ventures.
15. I realize I’m not perfect. I know I have my personal flaws just like other people. If there is a way to improve something about myself I am open to doing it. Like being messy, I will eventually clean stuff up. So even at times when I am comfortable with myself, I am also aware of areas I can improve on.
16. I am not a follower of society or culture. For example if all my friends are getting liposuction, I do not feel the need to do it also. If everyone else has a $400,000 home, I do not have to have that to like myself or prove myself or worth to others. I am content with what I can afford and what makes my life fulfilling.
I am no different than my friend or anyone else, I have my own secrets. These things I repented of and gave up to God. With repentance I was able to let my past be my past and not something I could return to. I still have secrets, but thankfully, I only had to share them with God.
In the study of seeking God's will and what I have been in thought and prayer about this past week is
Who am I to God?
Colossians 3: 12-17
"12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
Did I mention any of these characteristics when I listed things about myself?
Am I kind, compassionate, humble, gentle, patient, forgivign, loving? I might have said these things if I wasn't so detailed, but I detailed to show depth and that I didnt just choose characteristics from a list.
My friend hit the nail on the head when she listed her own characteristics!
God's still working on me!
I hope God is at work in your life too!
To God be the Glory for the work He is accomplishing through those who know Him.
How much effort have we given to getting to know God?
"Jane there, has three kids and one is an honor student and the other two are toddlers. I dont know how she balances her life with her alcoholic husband!"
"Bobby, just surprised his wife with a new car. She is a lucky girl."
"I think Sam has a love child and his wife doesnt know."
How often do we look at ourselves?
What are others saying about us as we walk by?
Do they know us at all?
What do we want others to see and say about us?
I asked a friend to give me some characteristics about herself that she might share with someone interested in getting to know her. Her description of herself was this: kind, caring, giving, and a darn good friend!
She also mentioned her flaws, and said that some she was ashamed of and was trying to change those things.
Mostly those were the things she didn't want someone else to know.
I have always accepted her and loved her even knowing her flaws. I know that God loves us in the same way.
Here are 16 things about me, that are deeper than the obvious- single, mother of one, short, and unique; since I have approx. two real friends- everyone might not know these things about me... so here goes:
1. I believe in God. I know that I am more than just a human, and I am God's, at His service to do His will. I am not offended when someone says I dont get asked out because I have a lot of "Jesus" on my facebook page.
2. I accept reality. The good and the bad of life.
3. I like myself and others. I am as objective as I am subjective in my perception of people.
4. I am spontaneous. I am not hung up on what others think I should be. I do what is good and natural, simply because that is how I feel. My actions are not to try and hurt others but I have respect for what is good for me, if I’m angry, I will be angry, If I am joyful I will be joyful and genuine with my feelings towards myself and others. If I want to drink alcohol, I do, but not to hurt others or myself, I am aware if I am drinking too much.
5. I am genuinely concerned for others problems and if I am able to help, I do. I value others problem solving solutions also and seek counsel when I am troubled.
6. At times I have a need for privacy. I am a social person and enjoy the company of others but at times I have a need for solitude. I can have people close to me and their presence is sufficient without interaction. I am a great companion.
7. I am capable of doing things for myself and making decisions on my own. I believe in who and what I am. I try not to regret my choices.
8. I am always curious and interested in the world around me. I love to travel. I have appreciation for simple and fun things, like watching a sunrise or sunset, feeling the wind or heat of the sun, and delight in playing with children enjoying their innocence and curiosity and still able to be an adult.
9. I am sensitive to people around me. At times I have conversations with people about subjects I know nothing about, but they have a need to talk about them, and I give them perspective.
10. I have very few friends, but the ones I do have are long lasting and very meaningful. I love my friends.
11. I allow others to be themselves. I do not try to change people. I accept others for their strengths and weaknesses. I allow others to say whatever they want, without swaying my judgment or personal opinion. I am genuine with my perceptions and feelings.
12. I sometimes like to be able to see the whole picture about situations, and make the best of what is. Good and bad, but mostly I see good more than I see bad. For instance if a person I know has been in some trouble, the trouble isnt always the person. My brother manufactured illegal drugs, but it did not change that he was my brother or that he loved me, but I also did not have a blind eye to his actions.
13. I am witty and have a non-hostile sense of humor. I do not like making fun of others to make them feel bad. I don’t appreciate others who do.
14. I am highly creative, but not just in one area. I write, I paint, I design, I sew, I cook without a cookbook at times, I am a do-er instead of a planner when I decide what I want to do. I can usually accomplish my creative ventures.
15. I realize I’m not perfect. I know I have my personal flaws just like other people. If there is a way to improve something about myself I am open to doing it. Like being messy, I will eventually clean stuff up. So even at times when I am comfortable with myself, I am also aware of areas I can improve on.
16. I am not a follower of society or culture. For example if all my friends are getting liposuction, I do not feel the need to do it also. If everyone else has a $400,000 home, I do not have to have that to like myself or prove myself or worth to others. I am content with what I can afford and what makes my life fulfilling.
I am no different than my friend or anyone else, I have my own secrets. These things I repented of and gave up to God. With repentance I was able to let my past be my past and not something I could return to. I still have secrets, but thankfully, I only had to share them with God.
In the study of seeking God's will and what I have been in thought and prayer about this past week is
Who am I to God?
Colossians 3: 12-17
"12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
Did I mention any of these characteristics when I listed things about myself?
Am I kind, compassionate, humble, gentle, patient, forgivign, loving? I might have said these things if I wasn't so detailed, but I detailed to show depth and that I didnt just choose characteristics from a list.
My friend hit the nail on the head when she listed her own characteristics!
God's still working on me!
I hope God is at work in your life too!
To God be the Glory for the work He is accomplishing through those who know Him.
How much effort have we given to getting to know God?
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
May 17, 2011 God's Will intro.
I started this blog over a year ago when I was struggling with my divorce.
Now I have a lot of questions about dating, how to go about it and how I am supposed to handle a future relationship. And I have even asked myself, should I be in a relationship?
I am seeking God for this answer. I have tossed around the idea to live a solitary life and then I met a nice guy and I went on a few dates with him and I really enjoyed spending time with him, and I wondered if it is God's design for me- single or married?
Buckhead Church Andy Stanley
Twisted part 4 Category of One
Either way to include God, or surrender to God for this decision is a big step of trust. I know that giving up a lot of little relationships that may not last, for something better that God has in plan for me is not really a sacrifice, but an investment in myself to prepare for my own future. I want to honor God in allowing to make this decision for me.
God is at work in my life. Can I give God one year? I really struggled with writing this blog for 365 days and if you follow it, you know I didn't make it. I really struggle with commitment, I think partly because people I committed to in the past let me down, and I gave up too. I know it's hard to look at my own character and see what others see, and look deeper to see what I may not let anyone else see.
I'm in a different season in my life. I suffered a lot of personal loss in the past year -my marriage, the death of my older brother and some other losses, but I know these two are my biggest and if I dwell on all the loss it will tear me down.
Four weeks ago I started a sermon study "Discovering God's Will" with Andy Stanley. I am in a group of 12 and there is a single male and me, and the rest are couples. I listen to the struggles they have being a couple and I think, do I want that again? I do miss the relationship of having someone love me and the physical aspect of affection, and now I look at physical contact with the opposite sex as - fully clothed. Huggs, kisses, etc. the same I would give a family member, but the intimatcy of a relationship- I want with the right person. I'm fragile with my heart. I am still grieving. I don't think I can open up my heart to be a revolving door for the opposite sex to pass through. So I am going to journal and share here from week to week what God exposes to me. Can I commit to 52 weeks? It sounds shorter than 365 days, but it is the same amount of time.
So if you want, meet me here once a week for the next year and I'll share what God is at work doing in my life or how I am able to do God's will in my relationships with other people. I know God will be at work on the inside, but I also want an outward appearance of a person that honors God, by being intentional with my actions and friendships.
I need to renew my mind and change my ways to start today, honoring God.
Things to examine in my life:
my words
my actions
my consistency
my dependability
my presence
my accountability
my consideration of others
From today My present will be my past which will be present in my future.
(wait for it.... it will make sense if you say it over and over a few times.)
There are no do overs. There is just doing with God.
To start an intentional relationship with God, He first told me He is intentional to be a part of my life.
1 Thes. 5: 23-24
"Now may the God of Peace himself sanctify you completely and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful, he will surely do it."
I dont want to settle, I want what's best for my life and I really want God's will for me.
To God be the glory for what He is going to do with this extraordinary life.
Now I have a lot of questions about dating, how to go about it and how I am supposed to handle a future relationship. And I have even asked myself, should I be in a relationship?
I am seeking God for this answer. I have tossed around the idea to live a solitary life and then I met a nice guy and I went on a few dates with him and I really enjoyed spending time with him, and I wondered if it is God's design for me- single or married?
Buckhead Church Andy Stanley
Twisted part 4 Category of One
Either way to include God, or surrender to God for this decision is a big step of trust. I know that giving up a lot of little relationships that may not last, for something better that God has in plan for me is not really a sacrifice, but an investment in myself to prepare for my own future. I want to honor God in allowing to make this decision for me.
God is at work in my life. Can I give God one year? I really struggled with writing this blog for 365 days and if you follow it, you know I didn't make it. I really struggle with commitment, I think partly because people I committed to in the past let me down, and I gave up too. I know it's hard to look at my own character and see what others see, and look deeper to see what I may not let anyone else see.
I'm in a different season in my life. I suffered a lot of personal loss in the past year -my marriage, the death of my older brother and some other losses, but I know these two are my biggest and if I dwell on all the loss it will tear me down.
Four weeks ago I started a sermon study "Discovering God's Will" with Andy Stanley. I am in a group of 12 and there is a single male and me, and the rest are couples. I listen to the struggles they have being a couple and I think, do I want that again? I do miss the relationship of having someone love me and the physical aspect of affection, and now I look at physical contact with the opposite sex as - fully clothed. Huggs, kisses, etc. the same I would give a family member, but the intimatcy of a relationship- I want with the right person. I'm fragile with my heart. I am still grieving. I don't think I can open up my heart to be a revolving door for the opposite sex to pass through. So I am going to journal and share here from week to week what God exposes to me. Can I commit to 52 weeks? It sounds shorter than 365 days, but it is the same amount of time.
So if you want, meet me here once a week for the next year and I'll share what God is at work doing in my life or how I am able to do God's will in my relationships with other people. I know God will be at work on the inside, but I also want an outward appearance of a person that honors God, by being intentional with my actions and friendships.
I need to renew my mind and change my ways to start today, honoring God.
Things to examine in my life:
my words
my actions
my consistency
my dependability
my presence
my accountability
my consideration of others
From today My present will be my past which will be present in my future.
(wait for it.... it will make sense if you say it over and over a few times.)
There are no do overs. There is just doing with God.
To start an intentional relationship with God, He first told me He is intentional to be a part of my life.
1 Thes. 5: 23-24
"Now may the God of Peace himself sanctify you completely and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful, he will surely do it."
I dont want to settle, I want what's best for my life and I really want God's will for me.
To God be the glory for what He is going to do with this extraordinary life.
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