Sixty- three

What if the destruction in our lives is something we caused by making bad decisions?
How does God deal with us?
God is dealing with me about some things in my own life.
He has been really good to me and answering my prayers about my relationships.

But I did something destructive and trashed all that He did in a matter of hours. I did not post the past two days because of my fault.

I keep asking why what happened happened. Last month I prayed everyday about the coming of fall and with the change in season, to bring a change in me.

I did ask the Lord to reveal things about myself I needed to change.
My action reveiled my destructive tendacy not only to me but to everyone around me. Something happened that can’t be undone. It happened in such a way I NEVER want it to happen again. Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before there can be a change. I hit my rock bottom. I don’t know why, but I am alive today. I completely believe it is only by the grace of God.
I come before God with humility. I am coming before Him and everyone I hurt and asking for forgiveness. I don’t feel I deserve it. I don’t know what today will hold, but I am going to fast this week and pray that He will forgive me and draw me near to Him instead of turning His back to me.
I removed what caused my self destruction. Repentance is experiencing sorrow for what happened and changing wrong behavior.

I do fear the wrath of God.

Ezekiel 6:8-10
8 " 'But I will spare some, for some of you will escape the sword when you are scattered among the lands and nations. 9 Then in the nations where they have been carried captive, those who escape will remember me—how I have been grieved by their adulterous hearts, which have turned away from me, and by their eyes, which have lusted after their idols. They will loathe themselves for the evil they have done and for all their detestable practices. 10 And they will know that I am the LORD; I did not threaten in vain to bring this calamity on them.
11 " 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Strike your hands together and stamp your feet and cry out "Alas!" because of all the wicked and detestable practices of the house of Israel, for they will fall by the sword, famine and plague. 12 He that is far away will die of the plague, and he that is near will fall by the sword, and he that survives and is spared will die of famine. So will I spend my wrath upon them. 13 And they will know that I am the LORD, when their people lie slain among their idols around their altars, on every high hill and on all the mountaintops, under every spreading tree and every leafy oak—places where they offered fragrant incense to all their idols. 14 And I will stretch out my hand against them and make the land a desolate waste from the desert to Diblah [a] —wherever they live. Then they will know that I am the LORD.' "
I worship God Almighty. Nothing has been hidden from Him and what I need to change has already begun and today I have such humility that I didn’t sleep at all last night and I will not eat a bite of food this week as I pray for His forgiveness and give thanks that He gave me another day and broke my spirit to change my destructive behavior. I want to know the love of God and fear the wrath of God.
I want my salvation to be without question and my life to be lived according to God’s will.
Thank you God for another extraordinary day. To God be the Glory Honor and Praise.