“I have leaned on you since the day I was born; you have been my God since my mother gave me birth.”
I’m struggling emotionally today. I’ve been angry at my husband for his words and actions. I said some hurtful things myself. I think it’s best if I don’t talk to him for awhile. I don’t think I forgive him. I don’t think he forgives me.
I know my mouth could use a filter sometimes but lately I haven’t slowed my emotions or my words. It seems like they get all mixed up and burst out of me. Part of me feels like I was silent for too long about things I should have not been silent about and now I would rather express every emotion than not express it at all. He doesn’t like this new me. Mainly because my emotions or words do not agree with him.
I decided today not to make him feel guilty any more for living the life he wants to live and one way to do that is to be silent and not talk to him.
I have to turn my focus on other things, and my faith in God.
Thanksgiving is in a few days. I am going home and making brownies with caramel centers and working on my advent calendar. Usually I put up my tree the weekend after thanksgiving. I almost decided not to put one up since I am displaced, but then I thought, why shouldn’t I?
And am I really displaced or am I exactly where I am supposed to be?
I am the only one that can bring back my joy and find joy in my ever days – including the holidays.
I have a lot to be thankful for.
Today I am thankful that I can cook and have food to eat.
God is good all the time.
Lord, give us all thankful hearts through the good and the bad.
Thank you, God.