Go now, a child of God. Choose well the road you take,
And the decisions you make. Keep in mind always that The God you serve continues to call to you, making you more and more every day into the faithful one God wants you to be.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Twenty- three

Today I had the opportunity to visit with a dear friend of mine who will be 70 next month. We talked about the things going on in one another’s lives. I told her about my separation from my husband and how I am trying to seek God’s will in our marriage. I told her it is a struggle to see myself single again after nine years of marriage. She said that she just fell in love again and thought that she would be married once again. She and the guy dated for many months and seemed to her inseparable, then one day he just quit coming around. He began seeing someone else and just broke it of with her. Her heart is broken and she shared with me she is feeling the same as I am feeling now, trying even at the age of 70 trying to rebuild her life of being single.
I loved talking to her and am glad that she shared with me her story. I see how loneliness can come in our lives and how easy it is to dwell on our feelings and how we individually have to handle these times of our lives. It is always nice to have another person to share talking about the loneliness that comes when these life changes happen, even if it is only to talk about it. Spending time with God in prayer is always a comfort he will always listen and not pass judgment and He already knows your heart.

I am thankful that God is giving me some great friends that invite me to do things with them and yesterday I spent the day with a friend working on her scarecrow entries. Spending time with my friends is a blessing and I need these people in my life, they do take away some of the loneliness in my life.

I know that God will send companions into my life as I need for them. If it is God’s will for me to have a companion in a husband God will provide that for me. Sometimes I think that is what I am used to and it is what I want. I want someone to come home to each day and someone to be that every day companion. It is my prayer that God will guide me and my husband back to our life together or close that door and open it for the person that would be God’s will.
I realize that God is in control of the events and I am having patience in what He wants. I still love my husband and the reasons we are not together make neither of us right or wrong, but it comes down to if one of us wants to live alone and make their own decisions about the choices they make, then I will have to respect that marriage is not for him and pray for Jody. And that whatever made me so unhappy and caused my depression for so long will be changed so that I can know what makes me happy and allow myself to be happy with him or without him if that is God’s will.
In our marriage it is not so much about either of us being right or wrong. It is just that maybe we want different things, or a different life we can’t live together. I am sad about it.
Talking to my friend helped to let me know that these life changes are difficult and it doesn’t matter what age we are, we can still have the same difficulties and we don’t have to bear them alone. I will be in prayer for God to send my friend a love and companion again even at the age of 70 she can have the desire of her heart.

Romans 12:9-16
9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.

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