One hundred thiry- eight

2 Timothy 1:7
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

I woke up this morning with a strong will to get some of my stories published. I have written some children’s stories and I am going to get serious about getting them published. I put in a prayer request to God that he will give me some guidance and surround me with people that will help make it a reality.

I feel like I haven’t set any real goals for myself in a long time. My success rate this far has not been anything to brag about.

My daughter has opened up to me talking about injustices she finds in everyday life. Last night we had a talk about how proud I am of her, for seeing injustice and standing up for it. The pride is about her unwillingness to let other people’s standards be good enough for her. Maybe I should have made that choice, of not living up to everyone else’s standards, for myself a long time ago. I know she sees me as an example, and maybe I have let her down, not being able to financially support both of us right now.

I admit I live in a world where conventional conservatism is smiled upon. I grew up in a single parent home, we didn’t have a lot of anything. Everyone else’s standards were not part of my everyday surroundings. Our needs were minimal- roof over our head, food to eat and beds to sleep in, no extra furniture or television. My father and I laugh about the time, when I was about thirteen; I complained to him that we had a living room and no furniture. It never occurred to him that it might have been a necessity, and I know that if I had never went into anyone else’s home, it would not have occurred to me either. He saved up and bought a used couch and love seat that we had until after I moved out on my own and someone else needed it more.  One time I even got in trouble in school because for an assignment we were supposed to watch the evening news and write about what we saw. Of course I didn’t do the assignment, and my teacher thought I was being a smarty pants when I said we didn’t have a television. Unconventional and extraordinary.

My daughter is more like me than she realizes. Maybe, in some ways I am not settling for anyone else’s standards in my own life either. I feel like I have been blessed with a wonderful gift to be able to write, and I need to start using it. So what if I write for MMA(mixed martial arts) fights, daily bible devotionals, children’s stories, short story fiction, and current events. Sure, I’m not like other mothers, and in that way I hope I am opening up the world of possibilities that life doesn't have to be cookie cutter and the same as everyone else and maybe that is the best example I can be for my daughter.

I’m making extra effort of including my daughter in things that I do and being more a part of what she is doing. I look forward to the day when she is living with me again and I get to see her first and last of every day. I’m hoping that with God’s help it will happen within the next six months and I get the last two of her High school years with her before she goes off to college.

Having my writing submitted for money is a scary thing. I needed to read today’s verse:
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

It’s time I started looking forward and trusting God even more. I know I am not in control of anything.
God is in control of everything.
Glory, honor and praise to God our father.