One hundred fourteen

Pictures are memories captured, so we can remember what things looked like before everything changed.

We are a few days into 2010 and I hated looking back at 2009 and I thought of my personal grievances – things I want to rage about and scream at the top of my lungs until I have no more breath inside of me. Of course my biggest grievance this year is my marriage falling apart. I have raged, I have screamed, I have been fighting for my marriage to remain all along, and still we are in conflict.

I carried all of this with me into 2010. I want to have some peace about it all. I want to shout this is all crazy, I can’t reason it, I can’t change it, and God knows I have been trying. Love doesn’t stop when you have experienced it, memories keep it alive.

Experiencing God’s love is wondrous and sometimes the things going on in our lives can keep us from noticing when it is all around us. God’s love is ever present. I say over and over, “Let go and let God.” But have I truly been doing that? Maybe that is why I don’t have any peace about my circumstance. I pray about my marriage every day. Patience. I know. God’s timing is perfect, and whatever He is at work at- I have to allow it. God is good all the time.

Psalm 103: 4
“He… loads me with love and mercy.”

This year I have to experience God’s love in all things in my life. All the secrets, all the hurts, and troubles, and minutes of worry. We all have failures, things we wish we could erase from our lives, those things happened, and God’s love can cover all those things.

God has a load of mercy and love waiting for all of us. I want to experience that love. Usually it is when my heart is broken, I long for love the most. Today I am longing for God’s love.

This morning Pastor Anderson began the book of John. He said that he will preach through the whole book verse by verse. I am looking forward to this study. Last month I had thoughts of how great it would be if we had a photo album of Jesus life. In the book of John we have an book written by someone that Jesus loved and that walked beside him and witnessed miracles. This study of John will allow me to look into the life of Jesus and get to know him better. Nothing is greater on this earth than the life of Jesus Christ as a show of love from God. It is from the book of John that we get John 3:16
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but will have eternal life.”

I always look to my husband for love and affection. I admit I light up when he tells me he loves me. The word love provokes such strong feelings for all of us. Knowing God’s love is transforming. God’s love is always around us even when hardships are here. These hardships happen to remove what is not like Christ. God’s grace is what we experience when we make it through these hard times.

It is my prayer that we can all experience God's grace,mercy and mostly- God's Love.