Over the last week I decided to step off the roller coaster of emotions that I have been on. I had to step out on faith. My heart hurts. An unforseen event happened, my husband and I switched emotions. I am thankful that God's allowed him to feel the same anguish that I have had over the last nine months. I am also thankful that God allowed me to feel the separateness that my husband felt. I can't express my feelings here. They are too private. I am still in prayer for God's will in my life. I try to look at each day. Today I spent the day alone trying to be at complete peace being by myself. I haven't been able to feel that peace because I had been so angry about my situation. Now I feel I can stop looking at the past and wishing I was there. This is really hard for me. I have a future that I can't see and will rely completely on God for what will be best for me.
Today's verse spoke to me first thing this morning,
"God's peace, which is so great we cannot understand it, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
When we are in a situation we feel we will never be able to get out of, and God tells us to get out, He gives us a wonderful gift called peace.
Peace before the storm. Peace beyond logic. Nothing is logical about my situation. But my divorce is going to happen and God is giving me a peace about it.
This evening my bible study reminded me that this life is temporary and I need to keep my focus on the things of God. I am still reading the book of Exodus daily.