One hundred ten

This morning I woke up late and I had wanted to begin my devotionals first thing in the morning.
So what happened? I got in from my second job at around 10 PM, went directly to bed and awoke several times in the early morning 2:30, 3:45, and 4:30 I think it is the noise of my upstairs neighbors bouncing around causes me to wake fully up and look at the clock to see what time it is. I was able to drift back to sleep and I woke to the sound of a loud thump when my upstairs neighbor’s feet hit the floor hard at 7:00 AM.
I have to be at work at 7:30. I made it. Thankfully my work does not require I meet a dress code.
Last night between my jobs I sat looking at the lights on my Christmas tree. I have an ornament that says “Joy.” Where was the joy in my Christmas so far? It wasn’t gifts under the tree. I didn’t have to shop for relatives, or any baking, or social engagements that usually have me in a tizzy here two days before Christmas. This Christmas I admit is not like Christmas past. As a whole Christmas is different this year.

For a lot of people they will be going through the same kind of separation from Christmas past; illnesses, job losses, death of loved ones, broken families, natural disasters and other tragedies that are life changing, made this season different for many. I don’t know if I am more aware of these things not only because I am going through some, but also because I am getting older. Growing up someone else is there to protect you from the full brunt of the situations of struggle, but when you become a grown up, there isn’t anyone there to change the weight of the situation. We all need God. He can keep us from collapsing from these struggles, if we allow Him to.

My feeling this morning is one of defeat. Stripped of all the things one normally does at Christmas, did I neglect to do the one thing that is required of the season? That one thing is to honor Jesus Christ, our one and only reason for the season. It is my hope that my gift of myself, will honor him, with my devotion, with my thoughts and prayers(even though I missed a few days of blogging and I can’t seem to wake up early). I don’t know that I will ever be worthy of all God provides, but stripped down to the bareness of who I am with all my faults I have to give thanks that God still loves me. I have to put all my trust in God.

Psalm 119: 147
“Early in the morning, before the sun is up, I am praying and pointing out how much I trust in you.”

It is my prayer that we can be joyful and thankful and not let defeat overwhelm us to the point that we are not able to rejoice in Jesus Christ. Jesus was a gift of Love and that is the gift I am giving and I am asking for nothing in return.

Love and blessings to you this Christmas.