This past week the question was asked me, “What do you want?” So I’ve been evaluating stuff. Physical stuff, emotional stuff, and making real choices. My best friend told me, I do get to choose what is right for me and I don’t have to get anyone’s approval. Everything we own tells a story about who we are. By the way I have been throwing away stuff, there won’t be much left for someone to know who I am. I realized that the things I’ve been letting go of says who I used to be. I’m going through some changes. I watched a show called "Hoarders" and it is about people who have a real problem with letting go of stuff.
Today I heard a Christian song by Dara Maclean “Suitcases” and the chorus,
“You can't run when you're holding suitcases
It's a new day throw away your mistakes
and open up your heart
Lay down your guard, you don't have to be afraid.”
I am hoping that is what will happen when I get rid of all this baggage, I’ll be able to open up my heart a little more and let down my guard, this past week I feel like I’ve been putting up my guard more and more, but I think it’s because I don’t want anyone to see the mess of “stuff” I’ve been hoarding.
I think this is part of the process of this year without dating. I don’t need to add to my baggage, so staying away from relationships will be really helpful while I sort through the baggage I have from my marriage, and work on who I am.
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself, that where I am, there ye may be also.
Dear Heavenly Father,
While you are busy preparing a place for me, prepare me, as well, for that place. You hold my hope for my tomorrows as I leave the past behind. Thank you for loving me enough to know that one day life won’t be a series of things I don’t choose for my life, but instead be full of what You- God, choose for me. I submit to Your will and the changes you are making in my life and in me. Amen.
Ingrid Michaelson "Giving up"