One hundred seventy-four

Abundant.

What is one thing I have in my life that I can say I have enough for myself and to give others?

That is a tough question to answer, but if I look a little harder, I can easily answer it.

I am spending a lot of time alone and during that time I am self-aware. Last night I stayed home and was looking around for something productive to do. I have boxes of my life sitting around my apartment that need to be sorted through and organized.

We all have these boxes in our own lives, even if it is a sock drawer that has more mismatches than matches; there are cluttered areas of our lives. This task is one that I have put off for awhile, because I didn’t know if I was going to move back in with my husband and continue our marriage, but now I know with the divorce in process, moving back is not happening.

Box after box was filled with junk. It may have not been junk at the time it was collected, but some things were old. Some things were trash. All of it had to be tackled. I didn’t tackle all of it at once. My apartment would look like a tornado had went through it if I tackled it all at once.

I did all I could do. When I stopped I had one full trash bag that was bulging full.

Achievement !

That was one full bag of things I had in my life that I didn’t need anymore.

This past week I had dinner with a friend that has a barren apartment because their roommate suddenly moved and took everything. When the plates for us to eat on were pulled out, they were the last two in the apartment. I felt sad. I wouldn’t allow us to eat on the last two paper plates, although it would have been fine, but I have two sets of dishes in my apartment. So, I walked over and got one set and some silverware and gave it to my friend.

I had something in abundance and I could give it away to someone in need. There was more to it than just giving my stuff away, there was God. I think of God meeting our needs in the same way. God acts as soon as he sees our need, he doesn’t wait for us to ask, he just does.

I want to think of God as being that generous and immediate when we make him aware of our needs. We can include God in our everyday moments and put our lives to prayer. I am known to spontaneously pray when I see a need. I pray when I see an ambulance rushing to or from an emergency. I pray for the victim and their families.

I give thanks in prayer to God for all things great and small. I’m loosing a lot in my life right now- material things, emotional things, and things unseen that God wants me to get rid of that are unhealthy. I had a hard time with it in the beginning, but God is breaking me down. I know that my life is a box that he and I are cleaning out.

I want to be an extraordinary person for God. I’m going through this process. I am in that state of surrender where I ask God each day, if not once, but ten to twenty times, “What now God?” Each time I asked it, it was answered. From that one question I can see God’s presence, and be useful to God. Being useful means being available and submitting to God’s desire for us.

“Spiritual life comes from the spirit.” - John 3:6

This was the thought I woke up with this morning. My first thought this morning was not about what I would wear today, or eat, or do, my first thought was gratitude.

I was grateful to have God in my life and to guide me and walk with me through life as I continue to ask, “What now God?”

How is your spiritual life? Are you seeking God? I don’t just mean by going to church, I mean are you seeking God- are you looking around to see Him? Do you notice God in the the brilliance of the blue sky? Do you notice God in the air you breathe?

Do you internally feel God in your life?

I do. I feel God. I feel God when I sing. I feel God when I read. I feel God when I go about my everyday tasks. I feel God right now as I am writing this. Many times we can hear someone wishing us well by saying, “God be with you.” I internalize that. I want God with me in my soul. I want to be with the Spirit of God.

If you don’t feel the Spirit of God in your life, stop now and pray that you want God in your life and you have to be willing to go through the same process of throwing out things in your life that have kept God from having room to be there.

God is love.

Love is the one thing I have an abundance of and I have enough love to give away to every person I meet.

Loving you through God our Father.

Amen.