1 Peter 5:7
“Give all your worries to him, because he cares about you.”
“Give all your worries to him…” Easier said than done. I admit I get in God’s way a lot.
Letting go and letting God is something I struggle with.
Surrender is very hard. I have to be able to put it into practice.
What happens when you give it all over to God?
There are five steps in the surrender process.
1.CHURN
This is when life throws you a heavy blow- maybe you had a loved one pass a way, or in my case the end of a marriage, or finding out you have an incurable disease, or lost your job, or have a sin you are trying to escape. The churning process is the feeling you get inside that feels like an incredible pain of knives or being in a blender and all you feel is anguish.
2. BURN
This is the anger. You want to cause harm to whomever did this to you or whatever caused this, you may even want to harm yourself- this is where the burning of your emotions come and you fuel the anger and it is like a fire that can spread.
3. YEARN
This is regret. You yearn for things to be different, you wish to resolve things and have a different outcome or look to the past and with things were like they used to be. This can last a very long time.
4. LEARN
This is a growth period where you have people enter your life that can help you through this situation, maybe a support group, counselor or a good friend to talk through the pain and stop the hurting.
5. TURN
This is the final step when you completely turn your problem or situation over to God and say “whatever Lord! Whatever you bring into my life, You are strong enough to get me through it.”
I flounder between two and three.
I am angry.
I want to fight.
I want to hate.
I want to cause pain like what I am feeling.
I want to say the most horrible thing and do the most horrible things.
This is human sinful nature. I don’t do these things because I fear the consequences. I know the difference between right and wrong and I know restraint. I pray about these feeling instead of acting on them.
Then I feel the regret. I regret my daughter lives with her dad and I cannot provide for her, I want my husband to love me enough for our marriage to work, I want the life we should have had as a family, if we both had not quit. Regret is a haunting nightmare.
My daughter has been with her dad for three years now and she is very content. My husband wants other things more than our marriage and the life we should have had doesn't have a chance because of the destruction that has happened between us- actions in the past cannot be changed.
I have to get through this and I am not doing well right now, I admit I am struggling.
I have to seek God and want what he wants for me, I know God has a plan for my single life and I will have to, let go and let God.
That sounds like a country song.
Now I just have to learn, and turn. Accept the things I cannot change.
Praise God !
To God be the Glory for the things he has done and the things he will do.
Lord I give you thanks and praise in advance for what will come and
teach me, O Lord to count all of this, as Joy.
Amen
Grace and Peace to you from God our Father.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Thirty-nine
Today I’m just not feeling “It”
What is “it”?
Where does “it” come from?
How do I get “It”?
If the “it” was anger, the anger would be from knowing the one thing I tried to stop from happening, is happening and there is nothing that will put things back to where they were. I feel like there was this terrible earthquake and all that was left behind was ruin and memories of how things used to be. I am angry that this happened and my marriage is over.
If the “it” was happiness, the happiness would be from something good happening in my life. Some good things that I need to happen – some financial relief – a new place to live- a miracle for me to get out of my lease-my writing to be substantial for me to win a contest or two, something to consume all my time and the ability to concentrate on it.
If the “It” was contentment, the contentment would be from knowing everything is going to be alright. No one ever knows this but it is something we all hope for.
If the “it” was love, the love would be from loving me, loving others, and loving God. If you know love you always want to have it. You want to capture it and never let it go.
What is “it” that you need?
Matthew 25: 35-36
“For I was hungry and you fed me… naked and you clothed me.”
God will not always give us what we want, but he will give us what we need.
May grace and peace be with you from God our Father.
What is “it”?
Where does “it” come from?
How do I get “It”?
If the “it” was anger, the anger would be from knowing the one thing I tried to stop from happening, is happening and there is nothing that will put things back to where they were. I feel like there was this terrible earthquake and all that was left behind was ruin and memories of how things used to be. I am angry that this happened and my marriage is over.
If the “it” was happiness, the happiness would be from something good happening in my life. Some good things that I need to happen – some financial relief – a new place to live- a miracle for me to get out of my lease-my writing to be substantial for me to win a contest or two, something to consume all my time and the ability to concentrate on it.
If the “It” was contentment, the contentment would be from knowing everything is going to be alright. No one ever knows this but it is something we all hope for.
If the “it” was love, the love would be from loving me, loving others, and loving God. If you know love you always want to have it. You want to capture it and never let it go.
What is “it” that you need?
Matthew 25: 35-36
“For I was hungry and you fed me… naked and you clothed me.”
God will not always give us what we want, but he will give us what we need.
May grace and peace be with you from God our Father.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Thirty-eight
Song of Solomon 8:6
“Love is as strong as death…Love bursts into flames and burns like a hot fire.”
I have this overwhelming feeling of sadness today. I don’t believe that love is easy to let go of regardless of the circumstances.
I started this month praying for some Joy. Ok it’s only been six days so I’m being impatient.
Lost love is like a death. I am grieving.
I’m grumbling more than I am glowing. The lesson I am supposed to learn from this is that even these difficult days, I am supposed to count them all as Joy.
Easier said than done.
When I learn to accept that I am going to be single, the blessings are going to outnumber the bruises.
A change in season, a change in me.
I love you even if you are reading this and I don’t know you , and if I do know you, you know without a doubt that I love you.
I love you because of the love I know from God and Jesus Christ.
Grace and peace to you from God our Father.
“Love is as strong as death…Love bursts into flames and burns like a hot fire.”
I have this overwhelming feeling of sadness today. I don’t believe that love is easy to let go of regardless of the circumstances.
I started this month praying for some Joy. Ok it’s only been six days so I’m being impatient.
Lost love is like a death. I am grieving.
I’m grumbling more than I am glowing. The lesson I am supposed to learn from this is that even these difficult days, I am supposed to count them all as Joy.
Easier said than done.
When I learn to accept that I am going to be single, the blessings are going to outnumber the bruises.
A change in season, a change in me.
I love you even if you are reading this and I don’t know you , and if I do know you, you know without a doubt that I love you.
I love you because of the love I know from God and Jesus Christ.
Grace and peace to you from God our Father.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Thirty- seven
Eph. 2: 8-9
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from ourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast.”
Faith.
Faith in God.
God is here for us in our time of need. God is always on time.
I am going to God for my needs.
A change in season, a change in me.
Amen.
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from ourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast.”
Faith.
Faith in God.
God is here for us in our time of need. God is always on time.
I am going to God for my needs.
A change in season, a change in me.
Amen.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Thirty- six
I did not post yesterday because I had an extra ordinary day.
I got up early, went to the store, vaccumed and washed my car, saw the hubs, went to the Botanical Gardens, went to my husband's house and was going to make him brownies for fixing my car, I got nosey and read his e-mail. I read some things that he hid from me, I drove to his work and confronted him. It was ugly. I had a church picnic to go to, my friend Pat was having her 70th birthday and I had promised I would celebrate it with her at the picnic. Eleven years ago I had given her a bible cover for her birthday and she still carried her bible in it. I bought her another as a gift and I would be a crappy friend to have said I would see her on her birthday and not be there, so I went to the picnic, celebrated with her and visited with friends. My friend Missy had a HS reunion and her date cancelled on her so she invited me last minute. I went and since she was on the planning committee, we stayed and cleaned up and were the last people to leave. It was after midnight when I got home. It was a day full of highs and lows, I was not home but minutes all day, and I didn't get to post. So I missed yesterday, I was still with God and I don't think I could have emotionally handled my day if God was not with me.
Acts 2:23
This was God’s plan which he had made long ago; he knew all this would happen.
No life or death in the bible is more significant than the life and death of Jesus Christ. Today I am thinking of the day when Jesus was in the will of God the Father and on his way to Calvary.
I think of Jesus praying before it all happened, the Lords supper, and that terrible, terrible day of suffering that ended with Jesus being nailed to a cross and placed for dead in a tomb. Jesus had such anguish for his last day. He knew he was dying for all our sins. He knew his fate and nothing would change it.
Jesus was so obedient to the will of God. When the soldiers came for him, he did not resist, when he was beaten, he did not fight back. When he was nailed to the cross, he fought Satan. He died an Earthly death.
As I have shared, I have been praying about God’s will for my marriage. In June I moved into an apartment to give me and my husband some space and we decided to date and try to work on our marriage. It has been emotionally hard for me. I believe in marriage.
I have prayed. I have fought. I have expressed my feelings. I have fallen apart. I have got it together. I have been devastated. I have a broken heart. I have cried every day. I am truly crumbled to pieces. I told my husband there is no more will in me to continue on this way.
If we are going to stay married we should both be committed to it. I knew from the way he put everyone before me, and his action not building up our marriage, but tearing it down, I knew. I knew the reality that I have not been wanting to accept.
Yesterday when we had a confrontation. For both of us it was the last confrontation we wanted to have over our marriage. He said some horrible things and and so did I. Nine years of marriage – twelve total years together – not to be continued. I removed my wedding ring from my finger today. That tiny act hurts.
I have been single before. I know how hard it is going to be. Right now I am not happy about it. I am going to be praying each day for acceptance for what I know is God’s will; for my marriage to be over.
God has a plan. That’s what today’s verse states. God will take all these broken pieces of me and my life and turn them into hope. I may still cry and fight acceptance but that is part of the process.
Some people learn from other people’s mistakes; the rest of us have to be the other people.
If you are in a place, or situation that causes you daily pain and anguish, put it to prayer. God can change your situation.
A change in season, a change in me.
May peace and mercy be with you from God our Father.
Amen
I got up early, went to the store, vaccumed and washed my car, saw the hubs, went to the Botanical Gardens, went to my husband's house and was going to make him brownies for fixing my car, I got nosey and read his e-mail. I read some things that he hid from me, I drove to his work and confronted him. It was ugly. I had a church picnic to go to, my friend Pat was having her 70th birthday and I had promised I would celebrate it with her at the picnic. Eleven years ago I had given her a bible cover for her birthday and she still carried her bible in it. I bought her another as a gift and I would be a crappy friend to have said I would see her on her birthday and not be there, so I went to the picnic, celebrated with her and visited with friends. My friend Missy had a HS reunion and her date cancelled on her so she invited me last minute. I went and since she was on the planning committee, we stayed and cleaned up and were the last people to leave. It was after midnight when I got home. It was a day full of highs and lows, I was not home but minutes all day, and I didn't get to post. So I missed yesterday, I was still with God and I don't think I could have emotionally handled my day if God was not with me.
Acts 2:23
This was God’s plan which he had made long ago; he knew all this would happen.
No life or death in the bible is more significant than the life and death of Jesus Christ. Today I am thinking of the day when Jesus was in the will of God the Father and on his way to Calvary.
I think of Jesus praying before it all happened, the Lords supper, and that terrible, terrible day of suffering that ended with Jesus being nailed to a cross and placed for dead in a tomb. Jesus had such anguish for his last day. He knew he was dying for all our sins. He knew his fate and nothing would change it.
Jesus was so obedient to the will of God. When the soldiers came for him, he did not resist, when he was beaten, he did not fight back. When he was nailed to the cross, he fought Satan. He died an Earthly death.
As I have shared, I have been praying about God’s will for my marriage. In June I moved into an apartment to give me and my husband some space and we decided to date and try to work on our marriage. It has been emotionally hard for me. I believe in marriage.
I have prayed. I have fought. I have expressed my feelings. I have fallen apart. I have got it together. I have been devastated. I have a broken heart. I have cried every day. I am truly crumbled to pieces. I told my husband there is no more will in me to continue on this way.
If we are going to stay married we should both be committed to it. I knew from the way he put everyone before me, and his action not building up our marriage, but tearing it down, I knew. I knew the reality that I have not been wanting to accept.
Yesterday when we had a confrontation. For both of us it was the last confrontation we wanted to have over our marriage. He said some horrible things and and so did I. Nine years of marriage – twelve total years together – not to be continued. I removed my wedding ring from my finger today. That tiny act hurts.
I have been single before. I know how hard it is going to be. Right now I am not happy about it. I am going to be praying each day for acceptance for what I know is God’s will; for my marriage to be over.
God has a plan. That’s what today’s verse states. God will take all these broken pieces of me and my life and turn them into hope. I may still cry and fight acceptance but that is part of the process.
Some people learn from other people’s mistakes; the rest of us have to be the other people.
If you are in a place, or situation that causes you daily pain and anguish, put it to prayer. God can change your situation.
A change in season, a change in me.
May peace and mercy be with you from God our Father.
Amen
Friday, October 2, 2009
Thirty-five
Philippians 3:13-14
But one thing I do: forget what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal.
A change in season, a change in me, this will be the theme for the month.
I’m going to put to prayer asking what God would have me to work on – my attitude- my tongue- my actions- whatever… and see where it goes this month.
I’m expecting some JOY this month. Joy comes into our lives when we have something to do, something to love and something to hope for.
Something to do: write
Something to love: God, Baby girl, the hubs, the Beast (the dog), my family and my friends.
Something to hope for: tomorrow being an extraordinary day. I don’t have anything specific now, but I do hope for a part time job.
I’m going to pause each morning and seek God’s guidance. I want to feel His presence and allow Him to work within me.
Some Joy in my day – Not a single problem at work happened. That was great for a Friday. And I am thankful for my job.
It was extra- ordinary.
My you have peace and mercy from God our father.
But one thing I do: forget what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal.
A change in season, a change in me, this will be the theme for the month.
I’m going to put to prayer asking what God would have me to work on – my attitude- my tongue- my actions- whatever… and see where it goes this month.
I’m expecting some JOY this month. Joy comes into our lives when we have something to do, something to love and something to hope for.
Something to do: write
Something to love: God, Baby girl, the hubs, the Beast (the dog), my family and my friends.
Something to hope for: tomorrow being an extraordinary day. I don’t have anything specific now, but I do hope for a part time job.
I’m going to pause each morning and seek God’s guidance. I want to feel His presence and allow Him to work within me.
Some Joy in my day – Not a single problem at work happened. That was great for a Friday. And I am thankful for my job.
It was extra- ordinary.
My you have peace and mercy from God our father.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Thirty -four
Ephesians 3:16
I ask the Father in his great glory to give you the power to be strong inwardly through his Spirit.
I am going through some tough days. Why am I struggling? What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I get my emotions under control? How easily it is to fall into that “woe is me” mode. I know that attitude changes everything. But what can I do if I just don’t have it in me? Or my attitude is really angry? What then?
Normally we unload on the person closest to us. That can have terrible consequences. I am learning that if all the words that come out of my mouth are negative, then of course all I’m going to get back is negative. My struggle is the unloading part. I unload when I should keep things to myself. I need God to help me control my tongue.
Today’ verse speaks about how the Holy Spirit can come into a life and bring you strength. Strength to get through these tough times.
In the book 31 days of Blessings there is a story about how Brazilian children go to their father each morning and look into their father's face and ask, “blessings, father?” And the father will raise his hand and assuringly will say, “God bless you, my child.”
Do we get so wrapped up in the “woe is me” that we forget to go to the Father and seek his blessings and his favor? I can only imagine what it would be like to search the face of Jesus and ask him for a blessing. I would close my eyes and wait for his assurance, and to hear his voice say, “God bless you.” Oh, how that would help me get through my day with that loving assurance that God will bless me.
Some of the ways God has blessed me personally:
Financially for me to have my apartment
My dog that is forever restless
My friends and my family.
Today God blessed me by telling me that a change in season will bring a change in me.
I want to praise God for his goodness. God makes so many things good for me each day, sometimes it is the little things, like fresh water, or food to eat , or a roof over my head, glad I was born in America.
I have so many things that I can thank God for. Eyes to see, a heart to feel, love to give, and the experience of the day that God made for me to live.
Praise God.
May the Holy Spirit come into your life if you are reading this and convict you of something you need to bring to God or thank Him for something he has done in your life.
May the change in season also bring a change in you too.
Peace and Mercy to you from God our Father.
I ask the Father in his great glory to give you the power to be strong inwardly through his Spirit.
I am going through some tough days. Why am I struggling? What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I get my emotions under control? How easily it is to fall into that “woe is me” mode. I know that attitude changes everything. But what can I do if I just don’t have it in me? Or my attitude is really angry? What then?
Normally we unload on the person closest to us. That can have terrible consequences. I am learning that if all the words that come out of my mouth are negative, then of course all I’m going to get back is negative. My struggle is the unloading part. I unload when I should keep things to myself. I need God to help me control my tongue.
Today’ verse speaks about how the Holy Spirit can come into a life and bring you strength. Strength to get through these tough times.
In the book 31 days of Blessings there is a story about how Brazilian children go to their father each morning and look into their father's face and ask, “blessings, father?” And the father will raise his hand and assuringly will say, “God bless you, my child.”
Do we get so wrapped up in the “woe is me” that we forget to go to the Father and seek his blessings and his favor? I can only imagine what it would be like to search the face of Jesus and ask him for a blessing. I would close my eyes and wait for his assurance, and to hear his voice say, “God bless you.” Oh, how that would help me get through my day with that loving assurance that God will bless me.
Some of the ways God has blessed me personally:
Financially for me to have my apartment
My dog that is forever restless
My friends and my family.
Today God blessed me by telling me that a change in season will bring a change in me.
I want to praise God for his goodness. God makes so many things good for me each day, sometimes it is the little things, like fresh water, or food to eat , or a roof over my head, glad I was born in America.
I have so many things that I can thank God for. Eyes to see, a heart to feel, love to give, and the experience of the day that God made for me to live.
Praise God.
May the Holy Spirit come into your life if you are reading this and convict you of something you need to bring to God or thank Him for something he has done in your life.
May the change in season also bring a change in you too.
Peace and Mercy to you from God our Father.
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